Pregnancy guide: For to-be mommies

Pregnancy is the most amazing phase for a woman. It is the most astonishing miracle too that exists in this world. Soon you are going to explore the emotions that you have never known existed in you. Once a very dear friend and a mother of two beautiful cuties told me that when a baby cries , mommy's breast starts to leak, I was like, really, are you kidding me? Believe me ladies you are about to know so much about your body during this whole quest for your most precious thing. I am sure this post would help you to enjoy this bittersweet and strange journey.

Nine months is a long wait and tiring too. You are changing everyday physically,hormonally and mentally. And so are the needs of your body. You are going to get inputs from everywhere, sometimes they keep on pouring without being asked for and many times you would go look for them...Half of them are surreal and hooey enough to look through them.

So here for you lovely ladies are some points that you can keep a note of for a happy and carefree pregnancy: 

• Eat Right:An old aged aunty had advised me when I was pregnant to not eat eggplants, as it may tan the baby. I didn't bother a damn, color is not a matter of concern, the baby should be fine.And moreover it's the genes of the parents that defines the baby's color and not what a mother is eating. Then she asked me to not eat papaya, coffee, Sesame seeds and the list was never-ending . Initially , I had bought what she was saying and yes, I did google a lot. But, eventually I gave up all my attempts to dig out the facts. On my usual visit I asked my doctor And I am so glad I did that, he told me to eat everything but in moderation. Don't overdo on anything. Don't be too hard on yourself by avoiding things you love completely. (Yea but those who are diagnosed with gestational diabetes,they must slow down on sweets). If the stats are right, there is no need to be harsh on yourself.  These days when everyone of us is after having a sleek and slender physique, many of us maintain strict diet plan  even during pregnancy. Come on girls, enjoy your pregnancy, I am not asking you to binge on, but eat everything. Enjoy your moment of freedom from fat shaming. And many of us must be sceptical about loosing weight post-pregnancy. I lost 32kgs in 4 months and I have thyroid which got diagnosed way before I got pregnant, gave birth through c-section. Loosing weight is not an issue, It's all in your mind. You can lose weight as and when you want.
         * Eat greens, lentils,fruits,grains,cereals, coconut, Coconut water was my best mate during pregnancy( But if you feel        uncomfortable having it due to morning sickness, you can avoid it),eat ghee, one spoon in every meal, drink lots of milk, eat dry fruits, Eat healthy, You can grab a ice cream once in a while, as the summers are approaching.

Note: Avoid intake of castor oil, as it is a stimulant laxative and causes bowel movement and can cause uterine contraction.

• Exercise daily:

          Now, exercises are very important, you are pregnant doesn't mean you have become immovable. Unless there is no medical              condition which demands so, you can easily and freely roam around and enjoy. I would not suggest heavy weight training like we see on social media these days, 8 months pregnant woman lifting dumbbells, undergoing heavy-weight training.Do yoga,go for a walk, meditation, go easy, but do your workout daily as it will keep you positive and active.

Note: Those who have some medical conditions like low lying placenta must take proper rest. Exercise on advise of your doctor.

• Sleep right:

      Take good 8-9 hours of sleep. Sleep on the left side during pregnancy.You may feel dozy at work, keep your pillow with you. Relax every now and then, Nobody will mind that. You can use the nap room in the office to stretch your legs whenever you get time.

• Hydrate yourself:

        Drink lots of water to keep you hydrating. Atleast 2-3 ltrs of water you must consume everyday. The price that you have to pay would be frequent visit to the washroom, but that is a small price.

Note: Take advise from your doctor on water consumption, he knows your condition well and would give appropriate suggestions.

• Massage: 

        You might get swelling on your feet and on hands, gentle massage can improve the circulation of blood.

         Note: I would suggest not to use castor oil.

• Indulge in hobbies: 

             Do what you love to, reading,singing,watching movies,music, gardening(with assistance). find time for yourself, this will bring positive thoughts and rejuvenate you. 

• No time for negative people:

         There should be no room for such people for now, they are gonna ruin your good times.Negative people will turn you into one of them, so keep yourself away from such chunk of known ones. You need happiness around and for that you need to have a good fun loving company, who can make you laugh and enjoy every moment of your pregnancy. They say it right, Laughter is the best medicine. watch comedy movies, I did watch standup comedy shows a lot. 

• Visit your doctor, without fail:

      Even if everything is going just fine, you should visit your doctor on time, to keep a track on baby's growth. Sometimes, your baby is in a hurry to pop out, and you will never know that, if you are not under medical observation. So visit your doc on every appointment.

• Go on a romantic date with hubby:

      Believe me once that lil bundle of joy would be out, you are not gonna get the opportunity to hangout with your friends or have a alone time with your husband. So, make full use of this phase and go out on a dinner date with husband. Find your moments of love.

• Shopping:

By now, you have realised that you have grown bigger and you need a wardrobe overhauling. Go for shopping, buy yourself some good maternity wear.

• Attend classes on labour and parenting:

     It is time for you to prepare yourself , to tackle the labour pain and you should know the tricks that works well during that time. Enrol yourself in such classes. Prepare yourself on parenting. Many of us would not find a need of it. But you need the lessons trust me. Especially, if you and your husband are going to take care of the baby without any help from the elder ones of the family, sign up asap.

• Prepare your home:

      Prepare yourself with clothes and other important things that a baby needs. To avoid last chaos. 

        Here is the checklist,you might need:

         *Baby Clothes

         * Diapers

         *Absorbant sheets

         *Baby quilt

         *Nappies

         *Towels small size and bathing towel too

         *Baby caps

         *Mittens

         * Socks

         *Baby cream

         *Diaper rash cream

         *Baby pillow

          *Baby Wipes

           *Diaper bag

           *Milk Bottles

           *Steriliser and bottler warmer

           *Napkins

           *Baby shampoo and body wash

          *Disinfectant

          * Baby powder and powder puff

          * Breast pump if you need one

          * baby bed if you need

• Pack your bag:

           When you are close to your due date . You should be ready with a bag packed with all the important and important stuffs.

              Here is the list:

                * A dress 

                * A night gown, though the hospital is gonna provide you with one but what's wrong in staying ready.

                * Sanitary pads

                *Breast pads

                *Inner wear

                * hand sanitiser 

                * A comb

               * Your moisturiser

              * Toothbrush and toothpaste

               * Slippers

                * Your towel

                * mobile charger

                * a magazine

   

   Again,every pregnancy is different, please do discuss above points with your doctor, he is the better judge of your medical details.I still remember the first cry of my baby, I can't express how overwhelmed I was and how can I forget the first glimpse of her.It was so healing that my pain and the struggle just got vanished.That wasn't just the birth of my child,but was a birth of a mother in me.           

Coping with infertility,not just medically

Today in the morning while I was sitting at my backyard and having a cup of hot chocolate, my phone rang. It was my friend from the USA who called up after a long time. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from her; while I was happy and excited to talk to her, I was able to easily sense the sound of despair. We didn't talk for more than 6 months and she was sounding so cold. Why?

I couldn't stop myself from asking her, if she is fine? Well she said yea! But she wasn't ,I could feel that. My brain called out: Hello!!!I can hear you and I know you so well...I know how you sound when you are happy... But I didn't push her much on this. Then after few minutes she said that she had a miscarriage at 5th month of her pregnancy. My brain murmured: I told you, there is something wrong with her! I calmed her down but we couldn't talk much. And we hung up.

From that moment I am getting the flashes of my recent past, giving me chills. An ocean of old negativity has revived in me. I had dumped this feeling deep inside and never wanted to experience it again, but these evil thoughts, they are back again. Haunting me every second.

Infertility is a phenomenon that not just brings a sense of unwellness but a long holding depression too. You are dying every minute. Lot is written about Infertility in medical journals. Let's not dig deep into what it is. I want to talk here about the pain which is not physical but mental and emotional. The frustration that we hide behind our beautiful facade. We laugh when we feel like crying out loud. We avoid to socialise. And there are bunch of people who are not just apathetic toward your mental struggle but makes fun of your condition. I know these days infertility is a common condition which is sad, but the good part about this is there is a story in every such heart which you can relate to and which makes people considerate about other's sentiments, but there exist some lucky careless bunch of jokers in this world who are not human enough. I have come across some of them and I am glad they came to my life at such a difficult time. They made me stronger every time I met them.

We human are innately optimistic, we believe that someday something good will happen for sure and everything will be just fine. I remember when I had my first miscarriage I literally hid myself in my room. Couldn't speak to anyone, my parents,friends or anybody for that matter. It came to me as a shock. Before those few hours I was at the top of the world, enjoying those early signs of pregnancy.Those palpitations couldn't be joyful in any other circumstances. Morning sickness could never be tolerable I didn't had that beautiful output in mind. And suddenly with those few drops of blood stains my dreams shattered.I was thrown to the ground from cloud 9.I don't know from where I managed to gather that strength to go to the doc, by myself, for ultrasound and how I could hear her saying "not viable". I could not even break into tears, I was numb, clueless. But then I was told to try again after few months and I became optimistic again until I end up into the hospital again for the same reason but little more serious this time, It was an ectopic pregnancy. I still remember soon after gaining consciousness I asked my mother, how was the baby? Well, I was verklempt and so were my parents.

But, by then I had decided, no matter how hard I'll be hit by the destiny, I am not gonna fall into peaces. I will stand up and fight back. I can't be defeated. Not this early. Not that easily. I want to live and fly and smile. I deserve to be happy. I deserve a life. This is gonna happen on and on and on. For how long will I make myself cry about such events. Is this the end of my struggle. There are going to be many such moments of distress. How many times will I be shattered. Life is all about hardship. You cannot give up. Not this early not that easily. We are struggling since we were born. How can we give up now.

So, the good thing is I became optimistic again, but this time not about having a baby in my arms but about having a life again. About enjoying every single moment of my life. It wasn't my fault, so why should I be responsible for the sorrows. Soon after I recovered I went to Goa with my best pal. It was a trip to remember. We did all sorts of craziness. Had a really fun time!!!That was the best vacation of my life!!!I completely had avoided and blocked those people who were the cause of any sort of negativity in me. I had decided that I will figure out what can be done but not by hearing any bullshit from anyone.I will only listen to my doc. I don't care what society has to say about it.
And that really worked for me. I was more happy than ever. I was healing mentally too. Now I was not thinking about the issue 24*7.

We always have a habit to pay attention on the hurdles in life, but it is every single second of our life which is more important and precious than anything in this world. Having a baby or not will not make much difference, if you are not happy. Sometimes, we do it to for the society, because we have been told to achieve a set of targets before we die,without even realising if we can afford it physically, mentally and economically,can't we be just be happy.Why do we need to count on other things in life to feel happy about?During exams if you get stuck at one problem, you would never be able to finish the paper.
And your marks surely depends on that problem but not your performance,you can still perform better by solving the other problems.

Having a baby or not is a decision, sometimes we take it, sometimes it's god who takes it on our behalf. So what! You are not supposed to achieve every milestone. Don't just rush to achieve them all the time. Just live your life, enjoy. We all are struggling, many of us will come out of this phase with success, some would not. But that's ok.It happens. Don't die before you're dead. 

How much is too much???

"All people know the same truth,our lives consist of how we chose to distort it."

This famous dialogue of Woody Allen from the movie Deconstructing Harry, Is a cliche when it comes to marriage. You must be thinking "how?",But we'll come to this later. I went to watch Split few days back. James Mcavoy, you have hailed it. The expressions and quick flip of emotions.Wow, the role couldn't be performed any better. But while watching the movie I was wondering whether it really is a disorder or it's a common thing in every individual? I mean we all have multiple personalities in us, so many that sometimes we never even realise but subconsciously we react to the same situations differently. 

At least the thing holds right for me.I am sure the disorder is much more than what my interpretation about it, is. But, I believe every person has multiple shades of personalities hidden in him. And we being a clever species, only bring out a particular personality when time demands. Like for instance, My baby's nanny have never seen me screaming at anyone. But, that doesn't mean I don't do that. In fact, I get irked quite often.With time and age maybe it's hormones or what I don't know but I get frustrated and yell at every tiny thing. But to my baby's nanny I am like a saint from some other world, the most well behaved and sober person on earth.

So, coming back to the dialogue and marriage. Well many times it happens that before getting married a person is completely different to you, you find your soulmate in her/him, and think that nobody except her/him could be more perfect for you. But, once you get married you realise that the person is not even close to what you have assumed. The marriage was a big mistake and then you start getting those whirlpools inside you which is going to eventually sabotage your personality,your confidence. You are no more funny. You are no more a happy go lucky fella, with that awesome sense of humour. You are more lost. And eventually you go into that self pity mode.

Now, think about it. Have you ever chose this for you? Haven't you feel ditched.Yes, the choice was your and you wanted to marry her/him. But, is she/he really a person what you have expected? Is this the life what you have imagined it to be?No!  

Now, comes the phase where you want to change her/him.That vicious circle which will go on and on and on, no matter how hard you try. It is gonna take your whole life to change her/him. Why you want to change your partner? Why can't you just make peace with what you have. Well, it is because you have lost yourself in this ordeal and left with only despair, that's it!!! Sometimes I feel instead of seeing millions of failed marriages why our society can't just accept live-in relationships. I mean there will be a scope of backing off. 

Then there will be a phase when either you would get a divorce or you would give up on your attempts of changing her/him and you would rather learn to be SATISFIED.

There are many examples of broken marriages and I always wonder what is the threshold that makes you decide that It's Enough! now I can't take it anymore. Is the threshold, is actually a threshold???I feel there is 100% something wrong with those wedding vows, I mean before taking vows everything was so hunky and dory,but suddenly after assuming those vows how can you become so apathetic to each other? 


When did you start getting this feeling that the marriage is irreparable? Coexistence is not possible. Were you right about your decision? Will you get anyone better than her/him or marriage is just not the right thing for you? Are you feeling that void inside? Are you missing her/him already? Will life be beautiful without her/him?

The only question that wiggles in my head every time I see a bad marriages is "How much is too much??"

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Beautiful side of India: A treat for the eyes

Home is home no matter where it is located, But when the home is not just comfortable but also offering beauty that words can't explain then it is definitely like winning a free dinner coupon of your favourite restaurant. After spending a month away from home finally got a chance to curl myself under my blanket, such a relief😌.

I love to travel and explore new places. Thanks to my husband's job, which allows me to see the extremes of India. From cacophonous towns to places where I put the TV on whole day deliberately so that I don't miss the hustle and bustle of a city😆. But this posting specially I am loving the most. Not far from Dehradun, in Uttarakhand, it is a small hill station called New Tehri. Maybe the place is more beautiful because of the location of our cottage which gives a beautiful picturesque view of Himalaya and Tehri lake. I can for sure sit of hours at my backyard and gaze the beauty that the nature has to offer.

New Tehri is located at mid Himalaya and the district Tehri Garhwal has many beautiful places to visit. Many ancient temples like Chandrabadni temple,Surkhanda Devi,Kunjapuri temple etc. Tehri was a princely state and was ruled by Shah Dynasty. It has many castles which will take you to ancient time. Dhanaulti is a famous yet silent tourist spot in this district. Tehri is becoming famous among tourists who are looking for some adrenaline rush and want to indulge themselves in adventure sports like paragliding,parasailing,river rafting,jet skiing, bungee jumping,abseiling, hiking and the list is endless. The Tehri dam,an engineering masterpiece, is of course a place to see.

But to me it is home, at least till the next shift. I am gonna live the soul of this place to the fullest. I was brought up in Gujarat, so seeing snowfall was always my dream. And never thought I would be able to live that dream so beautifully at the comfort of my home and watching the snowfall from my bedroom while sipping hot chocolate. That was a mesmerising experience I can cherish all my life. Eating sunday lunch at backyard with family,enjoying the barbecue while goggling the snow-laden mountain and you would wonder can nature be this beautiful.The air here is so fresh that you can feel the freshness when you breathe in, with every breath you would feel that it is not air that you are breathing it is elixir to the lungs and body.The flowers, the cherry blossoms, the apple orchards, the kiwis, strawberries, walnut groves, trees loaded with blood oranges gives me the feel of heaven. I have never seen apple orchard in my life before, to me apple used to come from the supermarket😆.Morning yoga sessions at my backyard is so relaxing and rejuvenating, I feel that I am healing from within. The view from my glasshouse is so beautiful that i can sit there for whole day without uttering a word, sometimes you need that void desperately and you don't want to hear anybody talking,neither you want to be heard. that zero that silence is what I feel when I sit there.

Many of my friends post pictures of their switzerland tour, Europe tour,into the woods,camping. I am experiencing that joy here and the best part is that 'It is home'.

Home of religions and superstitions

India is home to many religions. If religions are not enough, many believes exist in India, so many that there are number of saints and their paths to lead the people. And Indians being loyal to the paths shown by their gurus, are ardent followers.

India has witnessed evolution in terms of religious beliefs. Earlier, it was Vedic thoughts prevalent, then came brahminical sect, then to overcome the shortcomings of brahminical system Sikhism Jainism and Buddhism came into existence. Due to invasion by Muslim rulers Muslim religion got introduced. Again foreign invasion brought Christianity in India. Judaism and Zoroastrianism also being followed by many.

Time and again radical ideas have given different perspectives to Indian religious beliefs. And if you realise by religion we are talking about a supreme serene force which rules our the mind,body and soul of living things and non living objects too. So, if the purpose is this simple and goal is so unidirectional, then why so many religions are required. And if the paths lead to single destination then why humans think that one religion is superior than the other. Well, I feel the religions are same, it is the followers who have made it complicated. Life is so simple but we have the habit to make things complicated. Why it isn't easy for us to choose and imbibe the good things from everything that exist.

Do you remember the dialogue by Morgen freeman from the movie Evan Almighty,A random act of kindness at a time. Wow, things are so simple till we complicate them. Do things good to change the world, it will change you for better. But, these ideologies are now have taken a backstage in people's mind and instead the conflicts between people following different ideologies have taken a centre stage.

Humans have created religion in search of peace and truth but ironically, instead of putting effort in searching the truth we are connecting religion with everything else. Superstitions can be seen impacting our decisions. When I was a kid, we used to have a small place at home to worship and we were not allowed to enter that room with slippers on. I used to wonder why Christians can wear shoes while worshipping and why we( Hindu) can't. During my school days, I used to always put my pens in that sacred room in order to "charge" them with god's blessings during my exams😂😂😂. And whenever I used to forget to put my pens in that room, I used to make lots of blunders in the test.Though it was me and my subconscious mind and not the God who was responsible for good or bad results. If you think you can do it, you can and if you think you can't, you are right.
And these superstitions are not confined to any religion ,at least not here in India. One of my classmates she was a Christian, one day I happened to find her secret letter which she had written to God and of course since it was a secret letter nobody except for God was allowed to read that. But I read that secret letter secretly 😉 I was hoping for some big revelation but it was a checklist of promises that she had made that she would observe if she happened to get full marks in Hindi😟.

As a kid I was deeply inspired by Bollywood movies, so one day I saw this movie where the hero who was almost dead and was breathing his last.The heroin of the movie instead of taking the fella to the hospital,went to a temple of goddess Durga and started to sing and dance to make the goddess happy. And miraculously the hero got revived. I was amazed and thought this trick would be a rescuer for me as well(I was really worried about my results). So, I performed my form of Bharatnatyam in that sacred room of mine😅😅. But, nothing could save my sunken ship and I had scored all time low in the exams.This version of spiritualism is really dangerous. It kills your time, drains your energy and you get nothing.And It is a prominent trait of almost every indian's personality.

I love to watch Amy Adams in the movie Leap Year. A girl from Boston traveled all the way to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend for marriage on leap day, and as per the Irish tradition a man who is proposed to on leap day cannot reject the proposal. Everything was beautiful about the movie, the landscapes, the story and above all the superstitions. It was a relief to see that people in Ireland are as superstitious as Indians are. Then found this habit even common when I saw "My big fat Greek wedding", by now I was pretty much satisfied that we are not the only country in this world where people are superstitious. 

Amdavad : A foodie in town

Went to Ahmedabad to my parents with my lil baby. Ahmedabad no doubt is one of the best cities to live in India. Roads are wide and inspite of being an arid region it has lots of green area. Thanks to Narmada canal, water scarcity is not a problem for Ahmedabad. No blackouts, simple and loving people. To me it's like reliving my childhood, as I have spent my whole childhood in Gujarat.

Being a foodie, I love to explore new food joints. This time I tried couple of new restaurants too. With my few friends I tried Upper crust a small cafe at Vastrapur, their strawberry cheesecake is super yummy. They even serve awesome pastas and sizzlers.

My trip to my parents became even amazing with my brother and my sister inlaw's presence. We went to  Timpani a restaurant in Radison. Their buffet was nice and the live music(indian retro)was soothing. Though food was not what we were expecting. Vegetarians liked the food but non vegetarians were little disappointed.

Tried Shihai at Agora mall too.More than food I liked the ambience. But the vegetarian italian sizzler was nice.
The laser show at Akshardham temple was fun to watch. My lil one had a great of fun watching the lights,she was amazed by it.

Then we went to Shamiyana, a restaurant near koba circle, food was disappointing. The service was quick,ambience was good,but nothing works well for a restaurant when the food it not nice.
The visit could not be completed without a ice cream at Creamistry, Love the French vanilla shake and French cereal ice cream.

Tried many restaurants, but for this visit Upper crust scored high in my food chart. A small place accommodating bakery and restaurant both. Not too pleasant ambience wise but food is really good and not costly at all.