How much is too much???

"All people know the same truth,our lives consist of how we chose to distort it."

This famous dialogue of Woody Allen from the movie Deconstructing Harry, Is a cliche when it comes to marriage. You must be thinking "how?",But we'll come to this later. I went to watch Split few days back. James Mcavoy, you have hailed it. The expressions and quick flip of emotions.Wow, the role couldn't be performed any better. But while watching the movie I was wondering whether it really is a disorder or it's a common thing in every individual? I mean we all have multiple personalities in us, so many that sometimes we never even realise but subconsciously we react to the same situations differently. 

At least the thing holds right for me.I am sure the disorder is much more than what my interpretation about it, is. But, I believe every person has multiple shades of personalities hidden in him. And we being a clever species, only bring out a particular personality when time demands. Like for instance, My baby's nanny have never seen me screaming at anyone. But, that doesn't mean I don't do that. In fact, I get irked quite often.With time and age maybe it's hormones or what I don't know but I get frustrated and yell at every tiny thing. But to my baby's nanny I am like a saint from some other world, the most well behaved and sober person on earth.

So, coming back to the dialogue and marriage. Well many times it happens that before getting married a person is completely different to you, you find your soulmate in her/him, and think that nobody except her/him could be more perfect for you. But, once you get married you realise that the person is not even close to what you have assumed. The marriage was a big mistake and then you start getting those whirlpools inside you which is going to eventually sabotage your personality,your confidence. You are no more funny. You are no more a happy go lucky fella, with that awesome sense of humour. You are more lost. And eventually you go into that self pity mode.

Now, think about it. Have you ever chose this for you? Haven't you feel ditched.Yes, the choice was your and you wanted to marry her/him. But, is she/he really a person what you have expected? Is this the life what you have imagined it to be?No!  

Now, comes the phase where you want to change her/him.That vicious circle which will go on and on and on, no matter how hard you try. It is gonna take your whole life to change her/him. Why you want to change your partner? Why can't you just make peace with what you have. Well, it is because you have lost yourself in this ordeal and left with only despair, that's it!!! Sometimes I feel instead of seeing millions of failed marriages why our society can't just accept live-in relationships. I mean there will be a scope of backing off. 

Then there will be a phase when either you would get a divorce or you would give up on your attempts of changing her/him and you would rather learn to be SATISFIED.

There are many examples of broken marriages and I always wonder what is the threshold that makes you decide that It's Enough! now I can't take it anymore. Is the threshold, is actually a threshold???I feel there is 100% something wrong with those wedding vows, I mean before taking vows everything was so hunky and dory,but suddenly after assuming those vows how can you become so apathetic to each other? 


When did you start getting this feeling that the marriage is irreparable? Coexistence is not possible. Were you right about your decision? Will you get anyone better than her/him or marriage is just not the right thing for you? Are you feeling that void inside? Are you missing her/him already? Will life be beautiful without her/him?

The only question that wiggles in my head every time I see a bad marriages is "How much is too much??"

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